As always, reminder I’m a parent not a pediatrician. Nothing here is medical advice - when in doubt, call your pediatrician.
First up: you are normal. Freaking out with every sniffle is normal when you are learning how to be a parent. Especially a parent who took Covid seriously. You’re attuned and aware to the state of public health at the moment. Which is not good. Also when I say learning how to be a parent… that’s like forever the state we are in. You never actually “know.” Still and always learning.
But. They are going to be fine. Your paranoia is not going to manifest into something serious. And if it is something relatively serious, you are tuned in and aware and responsible.
And also: trust your gut. Who cares if you’re overreacting? Don’t freak them out, but if you calmly take them to an unnecessary doctor’s appointment… who cares? I over-index on bringing the kids in to urgent care. Covid and hormones absolutely wrecked my risk assessment meter, and I am still rebuilding it. The only problem with this approach is it is expensive in both time and money. You might regret the inconvenience of taking them in, but you won’t regret assuaging the worry.
Things to not be overly worried about
Heads up: this all applies to little kids. Babies are different. If your kiddo is under 1, check with your pediatrician for the most recent guidance.
- A kid that gets sick like clockwork who is also in daycare, preschool, or activities with other children.
- A runny nose when that’s the only symptom.
- A fever that goes down within an hour of Motrin or Tylenol. (Remember! No Motrin for under 6mo)
- Really anything where they will still run and play and be general terrors through it. If they seem perfectly fine despite a faucet nose and a temp of 100 (which isn’t even technically a fever), let them live. Just maybe be the actually considerate parent who doesn’t let them lick everything at the park when you and everyone else can physically see the germs pouring out of them.
Other things to not be concerned about when they’re sick
- Sleeping. I mean, be concerned, but don’t be long-term concerned. Everyone’s sleep is going to suck and it’s going to take you weeks to recover. It is what it is. If your 2-year-old sleeps in your bed for 3 days because you’re both sick and it’s your only way to survive, or it just helps you feel like you’re helping because the ped says yet again that it’s “just a virus,” that’s fine. You can re-acclimate sleep later when folks are well.
- The fact that from approximately 1.5 to 5.5 it seems like they are sick every 3 to 4 weeks. Especially from age like 2-3. Aka as soon as they’re wandering around touching things that other kids are touching and no one washes hands and they still experience the world mouth-first.
- Nutrition. I mean, obviously be concerned about their nutrition. But like, if your household usually drinks just water no juice because juice is pure sugar and no fiber and whole fruits are better… give them the juice. Hydration is even more important than nutrition when sick. Give them the juice. Give them the Pedialyte if they will take it, but if your kids are like my kids and they know Pedialyte is gross, just give them the juice. Also, at this point if all they want to eat is salami and Pirate’s Booty… those things have calories too. With the juice. You know what ice cream has in it? Real ice cream? Milk. And sometimes eggs.
- Puke or diarrhea once. Gross, yes. Concerning? Nah. Mayo Clinic has pretty clear guidelines on when to worry about puke, as does Seattle Children’s.
When to actually worry
- A fever that doesn’t respond to meds. Also a fever that lasts longer than 3 days in big kids (over 2) or 24hrs under 2.
- Breathing that freaks you out. You can watch the excellent videos below from PedsDocTalk and get a great explainer on when breathing is noisy vs. when it is scary. Super helpful. And also if you aren’t going to be able to relax because you’re not sure if they are showing signs of stridor or if they’re just croupy… just take them in. For your sake.
- Things that are chronic. Not random viruses popping up all the time, but things like repeated ear infections. If the same thing happens over and over again, flag it. Document it. Especially if it’s something you sometimes treat at home and sometimes bring them in for (so there isn’t a medical record for every instance).
- Lethargy. If they won’t respond to you. If they’re floppy. Not just a little tired. Like, struggle to respond to you. You’ll sense this. But again as always if you’re not sure, take them in.
When to push
Sometimes your ped (or the random urgent care doc) will dismiss something your gut tells you matters. Push. Yes they are the expert. Yes we believe in modern science. Yes we vaccinate our kids and know that doctors are the good guys. Also we are the parents. This is one of the challenges with my over-indexing on bringing the kids in to urgent care: their care is spread across the network rather than with one doctor. So the doc may not know how often this happens. Or that it looks different than last time, or exactly the same as six times before.
I want to be very clear: TRUST YOUR DOC. But also, find a doc you can vibe with. When we moved to a new city we took Cleo to 3 different peds before we found one with docs we liked.
To that end: videos are so helpful. Anything that’s behavior or breathing. Get a decent video (like, 10 seconds or more) of it.
Second opinions (from legitimate board-certified providers, not some RFK Jr. yahoo on TikTok) are fine. Don’t worry about what doc 1 might think about you asking doc 2. They are professionals. Their emotions are not yours to manage, and if they have fEeLiNgS about you seeking a second opinion, perhaps they aren’t a fit. Not that it makes sense to get a second opinion on a single ear infection. But if someone wants to (or doesn’t want to) diagnose your 3-year-old with asthma but your gut is telling you otherwise, ask another expert.
Stories for anecdotal consideration
Cleo and the 5-day fever. Cleo once had a fever for 5 days. No other symptoms, but a fever that spiked to 105 at night for 5 days. Truly wild and terrifying. Otherwise fine, no other symptoms other than being just uncomfortable because that is HOT. It was manageable during the day, so every day we would think it was getting better, then it would spike right back up again. I took her in on day 3 and they checked her out and of course she had had Motrin so didn’t even have a fever at all. I love our doc. They took it seriously, but their advice was just to continue to monitor. If it had gone beyond 5 days they would have wanted to do blood draw and labs. She cleared right at day 5 so we wound up not having to poke her. I still remember how hot her little hands were. Like while she was sleeping they were uncomfortably hot to touch. I slept in her room with her the whole time because I was so worried and never got anything.
Mouse and the barky cough. Mouse gets a wild barky cough and strained breathing every time he gets sick. We have taken him in just because his breathing sounds bad at least 5 times. Every time the answer has been: virus, rest up. This is an area where we’ve pushed a bit. That history is mostly in urgent care because the odds are never in our favor and it’s always after hours or the weekend when he gets sick. We’ve brought it up before and while it was taken seriously, they didn’t recommend doing anything. At his 3-year visit we pushed. Our ped still wasn’t overly concerned but heard us and sent us home with an albuterol prescription just in case. He got sick again a few days later (I swear it’s his gymnastics class that’s the culprit) and we recorded a video to send to the doctor and also tried the albuterol, which helped. So now we have a referral to an asthma specialist to get it checked out. He’s not in crisis. They don’t usually diagnose this young. But outcomes can be better with proactive early management, so we are pushing. He probably just has a reactive upper airway and will outgrow the phase. But if it turns out to be asthma, I’ll be glad we caught it early enough that we can impact the severity.
Cleo and the noro saga. Cleo has had (suspected, never tested) Norovirus twice. The first time she was 18 months and was totally fine then projectile vomited milk all over a brand new rug we were testing and planned to return. We kept the rug; we are not monsters. (This is an entirely different story about how Evan discovered enzymatic cleaners.) After the first puke she had about 5 days of horrible, smelly, orange-brown liquid poop. Horrible. That is a scent memory I wish I could scrub from my brain. Then she was fine. I got it, my dad got it, Evan got it, everyone got it. Noro with a kid in diapers is a disaster.
The second time she was 4 and she was telling me her tummy hurt all day but I brushed it off because she had recently discovered that saying something hurt yielded attention. My bad. We were at a friend’s house and she puked all over their bathroom. All over. During a birthday party. She continued to puke every 2 hours for about 12 hours and then stopped. I slept in her room with her and she would sit bolt upright, puke, then fall back asleep. Terrible. We used Blueberry Pediatrics and got her a Zofran prescription, which maybe helped? Then I got it and was a wreck for 2 days. The nausea was awful. No one else got it that time though.
Also: we had some leftover pee pads for our dog that I definitely put on her changing pad while she had the diarrhea noro and it was brilliant. Throw the whole thing away. Also I put her in overnights the whole time because they are more absorbent.
Things we’ve bought that help us manage everything
Puke bags. Gone are the days of the popcorn bowl having an alternate identity. They’re called emesis bags and they’re brilliant.
Pulse oximeter. Is this necessary? No. Is it helpful when Mouse is breathing weird? Yes. We have the grown-up size that Evan bought during Covid, but they make a kid one too.
Adult Pulse Oximeter
The grown-up size. Ours is from Evan’s Covid stash.
Shop on Amazon →
Zacurate Kids Pulse Oximeter
The kid-sized version. Better fit for little fingers.
Shop on Amazon →Thermometer. This one lights up green for no fever, yellow for mild fever, red for high fever. If you’re ever taking the temp of a kid under 1, rectal is going to be the way to go. Pro tip: label the rectal thermometer with sharpie. You’ll still sanitize it, but that way no one puts it in someone’s mouth. And get the extra tip covers, because your kids will also someday discover these can be launched as projectiles.
Color-Coded Thermometer
Green / yellow / red so you know at a glance. Our daily driver.
Shop on Amazon →
Replacement Probe Covers
Extras, because they will be launched across the room.
Shop on Amazon →
Digital Probe Thermometer
A flexible-tip digital probe — what we use as our rectal one for under-1. Sharpie-label it so it never goes in a mouth. Any drugstore version works too.
Shop on Amazon →This post contains affiliate links. If you buy something through one of our links, we may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you. We only link to things we’ve actually used and would tell a friend about.